Mourning is often framed as a sequence of emotions that can be described, experienced, ‘completed’ and then followed by a return to a previous ‘normal’ state. In the article, I argue that mourning is a substantially more profound existential experience. I propose that the death of a loved one constitutes an existential rupture, and mourning is a transformation: of the subject’s structure and ontological self-awareness. The aim of this article is to explore how mourning affects the perception of time and the connection between body and consciousness. Mourning is not a process to be overcome or healed, but rather a plastic transformation without a guarantee of becoming a better or worse subject. The relationship with the deceased also does not simply disappear; rather, it is transformed, simultaneously reshaping the mourner’s ontological self-understanding. The research method is phenomenological reconstruction: an analysis of mourning (published recollections and work by the artist Nick Cave following the death of his son), interpreted through classical phenomenological texts and Catherine Malabou’s theory of plasticity. The main phenomenological thinkers referenced are Alfred Schutz, Maurice Merleau-Ponty, and Saulius Geniušas.
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